What's he worth?

Growing up I dreamt of two things - living a life that matters and being married.
Why? I don’t know.
Was it a dream built into my heart by its creator, a dream woven into the biology of my being by evolution and chemicals and cells, or just one instructed by my culture? I don’t know. And I’m not sure it matters. Because whatever its founding it feels like it’s me. Who I am. I suppose I always assumed this meant that even in surrendering all of me to Christ that finding the (a) person to marry was inevitable - a matter of time.

Then when I was nearing my 30th year I came face to face with my deepest fear.

Journal EntriesRoxanne WiedemannJuly 18, 2020single, Christian, life, BibleComment

"Functional" Depression

But maybe right here in the depression. In the darkness of having no hope of fixing my life for myself. Maybe in the midst of accepting I have nothing left to chase. . . . Maybe this is exactly where God finds me. In the surrendering to the lack of control, maybe God can finally bring me life.

Journal EntriesRoxanne WiedemannFebruary 11, 2020 Comment